


Gobble, Gobble

by BicMomma



Series: Shades of Green [9]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003)
Genre: Dysfunctional Family, F/M, Thanksgiving Dinner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-09-01 03:16:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8605132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BicMomma/pseuds/BicMomma
Summary: Following the events of "T'was the Night", the Elric family finally come together for a Thanksgiving meal and nothing is going to ruin this holiday...except the family itself!





	

            Sheska had been to Winry Rockbell’s house many times. She knew to reach it she’d go over a bridge and past the cemetery on the outskirts of Resembool. She could almost picture it and the sign that proclaimed automail was produced here as she walked.

            Her nervousness about going to Winry’s house was actually due to the young man that walked beside her.

            Last year at a Christmas party, she had resolved to become less of a wallflower and partook of some spiked egg nog. When she awoke in her bed the following morning, Sheska found herself wearing a cheery Santa hat that bore a reminder of a date she had made while under the influence.

            For days afterwards, she couldn’t remember who she had made the date with and worried she had done something horrible while drunk. It was a stray comment from her friend Edward Elric that she recalled a vague memory of that night. A dark haired young man in a Santa hat yelling at Ed’s father.

            Sheska cornered Ed and his brother and grilled him over the identity of the young man. As Edward confessed he too had gotten a hold of the spirited nog and passed out, Alphonse was her savior.

            The date was revealed to be with their elder brother. It was he, who had driven her home and tucked her in with his hat. And obviously left her a note concerning their date, something that Al revealed his brother was looking forward to.

            So, she went to the place the note told her to be and Envy was there waiting for her. Not the dark haired young man she remembered but a young man who obviously was Edward Elric’s older brother. Same outrageous style and long blond hair with eyes the color of the sun. During their coffee date, he gleefully explained what he was and answered every question she had asked.

            Including the one about why he asked her out. His answer startled her, but wasn’t unexpected: _She_ had asked him out.

            “It was a novel experience and since you were such a fascinating drunk, I was curious as to how you’d be sober.”

            Sheska spent the rest of their date switching between blushing and laughing. She found they were both shared a love of books, enjoyed some of the same subjects and oddly enough, knew the same people. At the end, they planned for another date. After that one, another.

            Soon Sheska found she had a most unexpected boyfriend. One that didn’t particularly care to be around his father or brothers.

            Which is why she was uneasily trudging to Thanksgiving dinner with the Rockbell and Elric families. Hohenheim had begged Sheska to convince Envy to come over for the holidays and since he liked her, Envy agreed.

            But not alone.

            “The weather is nice today.” Dante announced carrying a basket of rolls. “Wouldn’t you agree, Sloth?”

            Behind the master of the homunculi and Envy’s mother, the very image of Trisha Elric walked carrying a pumpkin pie in her hands. The woman posing as Juliet Douglas had changed from her typical dress suit and heels into a light-colored sundress and sandals.

            From the slight grin on Sloth’s face Sheska knew that she was aware Envy had intentionally brought both women as an unfriendly joke on his father and brothers. Dante was a biting reminder to Hohenheim of his and her relationship and their shared unsettling past. Sloth was a cruel reminder to the Elric brothers of exactly why Alphonse couldn’t have any turkey or stuffing. It was also a jab at Hohenheim and how badly he failed his beloved wife and their sons.

            “Yes, Master.” Sloth replied bemused. She glanced at Envy who had a protective arm around Sheska’s waist, obviously a warning not to harm the former librarian and shook her head amused.

            “While we’re at the Rockbell’s home, you may call me by my name.” Dante told her. Sheska heard Envy snicker at her side.

            “Does that mean I can call you, Mom?” he asked her bemused and just as bemused his mother replied.

            “Mother.”

            Envy pulled Sheska closed to his side with a laugh and announced in a happy growl, “ _I love the holidays._ ”

* * *

   

            This is not going to end well.

            Hohenheim seemed to be taking the sight of Dante and Sloth bearing food well. He greeted both with smiles and showed them where to place the rolls and pie they had brought. Edward and Alphonse decided suddenly to visit their mother’s grave once both women walked inside. Winry’s grandmother Pinako seemed deeply amused and chuckled as she stuffed celery. The only one not in on the joke, Winry warmly greeted both women and showed them to the living room. But once hostess duties were done, she took Sheska aside.

            “Okay, spill. What’s going on?” Winry demanded. She glanced at Envy, gleefully speaking with Dante. “I was told about Envy but why does one of those women look like Ed and Al’s mother? And why do I get the impression the other is someone important.”

            “Um, the one Envy’s chatting with… _is his mother_. And Sloth? She’s a homunculus too, one Ed and Al created.” Sheska replied uneasily. “Envy thought since they’re family too, they should come.”

            She sighed, “I think he’s still mad at his father even though they’re somewhat speaking. Bringing his former lover who’s obsessed with him and the mirror image of his deceased wife, I think is Envy’s idea of revenge for hurting him all those years.”

            Sheska and Winry glanced over at Hohenheim who had wandered into the kitchen and was attempting to sneak a bite of turkey. They giggled as Pinako smacked his hand with a wooden spoon and shooed the tall man out of the room.

            “I don’t think Hohenheim’s going to let Envy ruin his holiday. He finally has all of his sons together under one roof.” Winry said as Edward and Alphonse came in.

            “Hey baby brothers! Why don’t you come over here and sit?” The two women heard Envy call out. “My mother was about to tell some old stories about her and dad.”

            Winry and all three of the Elric men blanched and Sheska laughed.

            “And he’s going to regret every minute.” She said as Envy winked at her.

            “Edward, Alphonse, which do you want to hear?” Dante asked as they trudged into the living room. “The story about how your father buried a city or how him and I met?”

            “Dante, you aren’t telling them about how we met.” Hohenheim replied hastening to his sons’ side. Envy sat forward in his seat next to his mother.

            “O~o this sounds juicy.” He exclaimed. “Didn’t you say it was at a risqué costume ball he crashed?”

            “It was not!” his father snapped.

            “It was a gambling den!” Pinako called out from the kitchen. “Your father came with another woman and left with Dante.”

            “ _Pinako!_ ”

            “You shouldn’t have drank that much bourbon. Otherwise I wouldn’t have heard that story. _Or_ how you buried an entire city.”

            “Ask her later.” Dante whispered to the two brothers as Sloth silently laughed.

            “Anyone wish to play poker?” the female alchemist inquired brightly with a cheery smile much like her son’s. Hohenheim groaned.

* * *

  

            Dinner wasn’t much better.

            It started out fine. Hohenheim carved the turkey and afterwards Envy insisted on saying grace. With trepidation, Sheska convinced everyone to bow their heads and instantly regretted it. He said grace in Latin, just like he was taught four hundred years prior and it took two straight minutes to complete. Edward timed it.

            The next incident came when Dante’s rolls were silently passed up. She pouted bad enough that Sheska grabbed one just to be polite. It was when she saw Envy motioning her to not eat it that she realized that something was wrong. Curiously, she took a small bite and almost choked. All too late she realized though Dante was a master alchemist and herbalist, she was a lousy cook.

            “Don’t worry about the pie.” Envy whispered in her ear as she gulped down tea to rid of mouth of the rancid taste. “It’s store bought.”

            “So Sheska, has Dante’s cooking gotten any better?” Hohenheim inquired with a knowing grin. “Last time I ate something she cooked, I was bedridden for days.”

            “I don’t think that was the _only_ reason you stayed in bed.” She demurely retorted and Edward blushed, looking anywhere but at Dante or his father.

            Another confrontation happened when Edward and Envy both reached for the sweet potatoes. They fought over the dish, first tugging on it back and forth and then actually elbowing one another. The food fight was easily stopped when Hohenheim jerked the dish away from both then scooped out one spoonful for each. It didn’t stop Envy childishly sticking his tongue out at Ed since he got his first.

            The final straw occurred when Envy received a larger piece of pie than Edward. Sheska watched as her boyfriend graciously offered his slice to his brother, but her and Ed caught his muttered comment.

            “Little baby.”

            “Who are you calling—” Edward began to scream when suddenly he had pumpkin pie loaded with whipped topping shoved onto his face.

            “It isn’t polite to yell at the table.” Envy said sweetly. “Now that you’re quiet Pip Squeak, would you like _another_ slice?”

            Dante jerked Sheska out of harm’s way mere moments before Edward launched himself over the table and tackled his brother. Hohenheim placed a wall of light around the table to protect it and its contents while Sloth moved out of the warring brothers’ path. Pinako merely stepped out of the way as Ed and Envy rolled on the floor, kicking and punching one another.

            “I’m really sorry dinner was ruined.” Sheska said to the elderly woman who chuckled as she watched Alphonse attempt to break up the fight. For his trouble, Envy kicked his youngest brother’s head off and sent it bouncing off the shielded table.

            “Nonsense.” Pinako argued pulling out her pipe and lighting it up. “What’s a family dinner without a fight?”

            Sloth knocked a chair away that came flying towards Sheska then led her towards somewhere safer.

            “I notice you’ve both been surprisingly protective toward Sheska.” Hohenheim said to Sloth and Dante. “I’m amazed neither one of you have purposely done her any harm.”

            “Sheska’s an acceptable person.” Dante responded to the former librarian’s disbelief. “She doesn’t interfere, ask for anything or poke around into things. I don’t have any reason to see her harmed.”

            “Envy swore bloody vengeance on anyone who lays a finger on her.” Sloth told him. “I’d rather not cross someone who’s survived close to four hundred years.”

            They heard a crash and a few words that only a sailor would love. Hohenheim sighed, promising his old friend he’d fix whatever that had been.

            Dante put her arm around Sheska and told her happily, “Given enough time together, I’m certain you’ll be more than acceptable.”

            The young lady looked to Hohenheim, frantic for help and he chuckled.

            “You should consider that a compliment. It means she might learn to like you.” he said as he heard cries for mercy. The alchemist sighed adding, “Let’s go see who the victor is and what’s he’s done.”

            Chairs askew, a broken vase, the shield of light shattered to pieces. The ladies found Envy sitting on top of Ed, pouring milk down his brother’s throat amidst the chaos. Thankfully the dinner was left untouched, save for a missing slice of turkey.

            “Drink up, Pip Squeak.” The homunculi cried. “You wanna grow up big and strong like your big brother!”

            “You jerk!” Ed screamed before his voice was drown by a flood of milk.

            “Envy, get off your brother.” Pinako said with an amused grin. “If the little shrimp doesn’t want to grow, then it’s his fault.”

            Before Edward could even begin another short rant, he had milk dumped over his head. Winry stood proudly holding the empty glass.

            “Take a shower Ed before the milk spoils.” She said firmly and walked away muttering darkly about bratty little boys. Envy stood and pulled his brother up after him.

            Afterwards, everyone settled down. Dishes were cleared, leftovers put away and the vase repaired. Edward finished his shower and had used alchemy to remove the milk from his clothes. Soon, everyone had meandered outside.

            Pinako sat in a chair, smoking her pipe. Hohenheim next to her sipping bourbon and petting Winry’s dog, Den. Dante and Sloth played checkers on the steps while Ed and Al sparred. Sheska was sitting in Envy’s lap with his arms around her.

            “Did you have fun?”

            “Oh yeah.”

            “Good, next Thanksgiving you can come alone.” Sheska replied. “I don’t know about you but Thanksgiving with _my_ family doesn’t include fights.”

            “But Sheska,” Envy argued. “What’s a family dinner without a fight?”

            “A normal one.”

            He tossed his head back and laughed.

            “When has my family _ever_ been normal?”


End file.
